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Spoke to sarah about some things. Honest, open and bare. It was well needed. Forgiveness sought, stands forgiven. Jealousy seeps in. blotted out the colours of life. simply draining the essence of it. Anger builds up. It eats my heart of joy. Turning it pathetically broken. Prayed and surrendered to Him. Him who receives, a broken spirit and contrite heart. He never despise. Life has been a roller coaster. But thank God, He's in the seat next to me. She and i has similar heart's desires. We want to go for missions. She and i has similar passion. We want to learn languages. She and i has the same thought. We want to go Mongolia. I think it is God ordained. I believe. We had such great laughs. sharing about our lives. laughing about the crazy moments in Korea. simply baring our hearts. I feel blessed. to know a sister like her. though at times, i don't understand her, (well, who can understand women) but i cherish the honest and bare moments. I'm thankful that there's someone. who i can share my heart's desires with. who i can pray with. who i can simply share my love with. fio, gamsahamnida. hmm... well, was just a lil sad just now... i pictured them, the koreans.... i imagined worst case scenario... hmm... i was sad. i was praying. i read the news on cnn. my prayer is that God's will be done. as i saw each of their faces, i am amazed. I see them as brothers and sisters. when pris shared God knew that they were going, God knew that this would happened. My heart ached. Why? "In our days, there won't be peace. If we think peace is our source of happiness, we've got to change." [And behold, I am with you always...] Did i hear it wrong, or see it wrong? Jesus said, "always". I see the Great Commission in a different light. A painful command, yet with joy and hope. Ironic? Yeah, i thought so. But i'm determined to obey. Jesus said He's with me. If i was there, what would i do? I would be scared, definite. I would pray. And tell them "Jesus loves you." what would Jesus do? well, how was my day? simple. i slacked. i slept through the morning. had a satisfied brunch. Went home. Watched full house. hahah. sleek humour. caught 7 episodes. Gona rest for the week and catch it the next weekend. I love times like this. Simply watching dramas. Apparently, it's korean. slacker day it is. cheerios. Well, i'm sorry aunty, i can't help but show what mummy cooked for me. Bing, you've just got to endure.  Calamari over rice with a mug of homemade barley.  Calamari rice with pig's stomach soup.The real feast.  Calamari rice, pig's stomach soup and fish maw soup.
Well well well.....hahaha. Thank God for the lavish of food. It's truly a blessing. Though i love kimchi with rice, i would prefer mummy's cooking best. I ate to my fill (my 'du du'...) Binge is back on again huh. Hais... This friday, duck rice at tanjong pagar. Well, we are the food people (maybe i am the food person).
Thank God for food and thank God for my first AOC today. Honestly, i can't believe that i was actually there, but i was there. hahah. Had a conversation with a girl, who does not want to hear about God or know more about Jesus, but was interested in maintaining a conversation with me. so i took the opportunity to share how God has called me to SP, to marine engineering, even to Doulos. I told her of how amazing our God is. And that His plan is the best for me. Well, she listened and was amazed too. Hahaha. God, i want to express how much i love you, but words just ain't enough. so please, just look at my heart. <3 sarang hamnida. How can i forget to introduce mummy's cooking... hahah.
I can't express how much i appreciate my mummy for cooking such delicacies. It's her once-a-week day off, yet she never fails to whip up a meal for me. My heart is so thankful to God. He gave me a loving mummy who asks me everyday if i'm gona have dinner at home. And if i do, she cook more dishes, dishes that i like. I've learnt to appreciate her ever so much. I'll plant lil kisses and do things that she likes - plucking out her white hair. Hahah. I even told her boldy, i love her so (I said it on my birthday, when i was on Doulos). Well, it's always easier to say to a friend I love you (sarang hae yo), but never to your parents. I'm gona be bolder next time, i'm gona tell my daddy i love him too. Hananim Sarang Hamnida Well, it was crossroads today. i was just feeling mundane and all, but altogether thankful to God. Hahah. Weird me. But I'm truly thankful. So thankful that i didn't realised that i was more than blessed. Imagine if i were to be Kazakhstan, i may just be any college student. I don't think I'll be bold about my faith. Hmm, but i feel that, probably i'm bold, because Singapore's pretty safe. I won't be forbidden entirely to share the love of Jesus. I can mention God at any corner round the road, I can share Jesus at every opportunity, I can tell people God loves them. Maybe to most, missions ain't their call. But i feel strongly for mine. Hmm. I'm ready to go Thailand, Korea, France, Germany and all. But i realised i'm afraid to go NAMEstan places. In Korea, I shared with a few sisters, one night. One of them asked, "What is my vision?" I told them, "My vision... is to go anywhere where Jesus is still not heard of, and bring the gospel there." Hmm. Bold of me huh. Words of a foolish self. I felt prideful. God has been placing upon my heart, this burden. A burden that, i never knew would be upon me. I yearn for the lost to be saved. My heart aches for the blind to see. My uttermost cries out for salvation to spring up. I'm surprised at myself to be so eager to see God exalted, Christ be lifted high and, every child of God to boldly proclaim, "I am the temple of the Holy Ghost." I'm gona pray ever so intently on my vision. Directing this desire to God. Trusting that He will give me the absolute answer to go or not to go. Even to NAMEstan, for the sake of Christ, I'll choose His will. I know that i still have shillings of the world clanging, seeking for my attention. but if God is the Almighty One, won't He settle the debt i owe? I believe, in my deepest heart, He will. Hmm. Hard to wonder if it's even possible. I've got 6 projects on hand. Friends to catch up with. Offering my presence. Helping wherever i can. Train for NAPFA. Pay for Redang trip. Intend to help kids' camp this year. Yet, I'm JOYFUL... Haha. I really am eh. Ask me, and i'll tell you i'm happy today. Well, life's brought much tears and pain. God has brought much peace and joy. From Doulos, to CM 2007, and now, back to school. everyday becomes history almost immediately. What's left are snapshots of the times when i was there. I realised the great need of being entirely there. Not just physically, but mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I teared when i saw God's tangible blessing of food and shelter. I rejoiced when i saw a grandma prayed and asked Jesus into her life. I enjoyed God's gift of nature even when i was tired and weary from walking. I'm ever so grateful to God for bringing me everywhere. To the ends of the earth, i've felt and heard it. I've felt His heartbeat. I heard His soft whisper. He has held me in His everlasting arms. [We do not follow Jesus by His name, but by His title - Christ.] I'm a Christian. MY LIFE  I am Jocelyn Hannah. I was baptised on 7th February 2010. I am 22 and still counting. I love VJBEE and we celebrate 10 years. I am amazed at everything about Korea and Korean. I still love orange, the colour. I love Da Tou, Mini Tou and new addition, Flimso. I am God given. In my life, I choose to desire God above everything else. He is no fool to lose what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot TAG ME MY LOVELYS Aunty Ben Bing Claire Corny di Evan Fio Ian Isabelle Jere Joelle Joey Josel Kha Ning Ong Ji Pauline Phebs Prila Roy Rui Xiang Sandy Shei Pin Sin Yi Tina Zul MY MEmories January 2007 February 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 February 2009 March 2009 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 March's Events 4th April - Ong Ji's Bday 8th April - Bing and Jere's 17th Month 9th April - Mommy's Bday 12th April - Tina's Bday 19th April - School Officially Commences 22nd April - Sabrina's Bday My heart song |
