21 April 2008 Y 2:38 AM

work starts at 12.30pm.
12.00pm - woke up abruptly
12.03pm - hopped into the shower
12.08pm - got out of the shower
12.11pm - blow dried my hair
12.17pm - got to the lift
12.19pm - got to the roadside
12.22pm - got into a cab

amazing aye?
don't ask how i did it.
you never wana know..
haha.
upon reaching,
my punch card reflected,
12.38pm.
because our punch clock was 7 minutes slow.
thank God.
breathlessly, i said,
"hello anba..."
with a smile he said,
"better late than never."
never had that 4 four words been more comforting than this.
i thank God for anba.



20 April 2008 Y 3:56 AM

[vincent day is happy day.]
haha.
seriously.
worked today..full shifted.
worked with anba in e day,
it was super fun too.
haha.

anba.
after working with him for a few days,
he's really nice,
just a lil (maybe not just a lil) on the vulgar side.
and crude side.
haha.
hilariously crude.

vincent.
worked with him twice.
i boldly exclaimed,
"VINCENT DAY IS HAPPY DAY!"
super funny guy.
dons on a pair of orange adidas to work everytime!
haha.
and he calls me "jo"
haha.
just like josel.
she calls me that too. =)

i prayed as i worked today.
i prayed as i did cashier today.
God was indeed amazing.
at the end of the day,
vincent calculated,
i watched him by the side,
short of $3.12.
panicked a lil.
then God reminded me of a credit card transaction i did that was 3 odd dollars.
hastily looked for it.
found it in the stash.
printed on the transaction.
$3.12.
it was exact.
Our God is a God of precision.
praise Him.

4 funny and happening incidents today.

#01
i was gona bring soup to table 30.
stopped over at station B,
fio and siti were there,
so i asked,
"pepper please!"
both,
took the pepper and handed 2 bottles of pepper to me at the same time.
anba was there.
he giggled.
10 ladies seated at table 33-37,
looked at us,
and giggled.
fio, siti and me,
laughed out loud!
hahaha.

#02
i wrote an order.
shouted to kha,
"one chic pie please!"
(we sell chicken pie,
we write it in short form 'chic pie')
anba heard.
giggled.
when the chicken pie was done,
anba said,
"Na, your 'CHIC PIE'!"
me, "so was that why u giggled eariler on?"
anba, "er.yah.in our chic pie, we don't serve chicken meat..."
me, thinking,
(huh..really meh?? but i've seen chicken meat inside before.)
anba, "...we serve 'chick' meat only, not chicken meat."
-_-"
hahahhahah.

#03
at roughly 6 plus,
dinner crowd usually starts coming in..
i was assigned to do cashier.
on the sheet where our roles were stated,
" $ - JAWS (with a fin of a shark above it)
Host - Ela
A - Siti
B - Fiona
Runner - Zhi Hao"
$ = cashier = jaws = jocs
anba said,
"'JAWS, it's time to go to your 'sea'"
his 'sea' meant 'C' for cashier.
-_-""
so you know aye...
anba designated the roles.
HAHAHAH

#04
i was doing cashier already.
then vincent came in.
stood beside me.
ate beside me.
worked beside me.
that's beside the point.
a customer came and ordered take away.
i took the money,
and counted the change.
then tip-toed and stretched out my hands straight,
to return her her change.
"hi, here's your change."
upon seeing that,
vincent said,
"i think i should invest in a stool for you."
WAHHHHHH!!!!
His mind is corrupted by all the emo people who work at nydc.
how could he...
such an innocent manager,
said something that...that everyone else always use,
to tease me...
i shared the incident over the dinner table,
everyone had a good laugh...
at me...and with me...
yah.
and sher had to harp on the fact that i can't see the road ahead,
if i sit in the driver seat.
everyone had their second dose of laughter.
or maybe,
it was already the 10th dose.
HAHAHA

[there are two kinds of laughters.
one where others laugh at you.
the other, where others laugh with you.]

i've gone through much times like this.
but i've long accepted who i am.
that i seriously could laugh with them.
i don't feel offended.
the size 5,
short,
cute,
girl with a 'du du'.
haha.
maybe, you'll cut the cute,
but you can't deny that sometimes.
haha.
and i thank God, i am who i am.
one phrase i heard,
[...it meant that I am Jocelyn.]
I am Jocelyn.
not that it matter if there's thousands more,
who has the same name as me.
others may confuse,
God never will.
He knows I am Jocelyn.



18 April 2008 Y 3:59 AM
worked at heeren today.
so thankful that even though it was boring most parts,
i enjoyed my time with jamil, lucas, amanda individually.
God was faithful to carry me through,
even though i forgot to commit the day into His hands.

at the end of my shift,
i heard a loud, "annyong ha se yo!"
fio, it was.
she came into the kitchen and hugged me.
"po gu ship po yo (i miss u)", she exclaimed.
i was touched.
really.
because the day before,
she said she'll head home straight after work at wheelock.
but here she was.
her hugs were always so comforting after a long day.
she added, "someone else is here! Mr See is here too."
immediately, i ran out.
hahah.
i was doubly touched to see sher.
told him,
"didn't you see..i was so excited when i saw u...
like how i would be when i see dark chocolate."
(poor analogy, but still..)
then he said, "Just like a kid." -_-"
so i guess...
this is called..er..childlike joy?
the kind of joy that was exuded was simple.
and sweet.
it's a joy that, i believe,
only God can enable in my heart.
i was smiling because my heart was.

then afterwhich,
kha offered to wait for me.
i was triple-ly touched.
he was tired after a long day at ngee ann poly,
yet he still said,
"if you take bus, i'll go to raffles to wait for you,
if you take train, i'll wait at city hall for you."
touched once again.
then as usual,
we had our mac moments after we reached tampines.

i was really thankful to see familiar faces at the end of the day.
honestly, i couldn't be more touched.
that fio and sher walked down,
from wheelock to heeren,
just to accompany me for that few minutes before we parted ways to head home.
and kha,
lunging ping guo and a whole lot of barang barang,
waited for me to head home together.

it's little gestures like this that really showed me,
that God's grace is really sufficient for me.
really.
that i am loved.
that i am worth it all.

i have gone through rough patches with some people lately.
i always wondered what went wrong exactly.
sometimes,
i blame myself.
but yet,
our Father is so full of mercy and grace,
that He used other people to reflect His love for me,
it's everlasting,
to tell me that, "hey, it's okay to not be okay."
i really do not have to be perfect to be accepted.
i am already accepted by the Most High God.
what more can i ask?



17 April 2008 Y 4:39 PM
Here are photos from my Bangkok trip.
vel, ng, ben and me
the spectrum of light was amazing.
u see 'du du'? i see 'du du'. look at the orange cab!!
we had grilled sotong first thing for breakfast.
remember F4.
our dinner at a roadside stall.
old school fanta.
the chuppa chups is huge!
ride back on tuk tuk
breakfast at Chatuchak weekend market.
hugging a huge pillar at siam paragon
old school A&W
float in drafted root beer
ng with a huge can threatening to topple over her
2nd night at the cinemas watching 3D animation.
2nd night at the massage parlour
us on the cruise. glamorous night.
together with ben.
ben's friend, ewe, joined us.
the Grand Palace.
bridge over calm waters
Wat Arun's behind us.

Wat Arun (The Temple of Dawn)
Amazing aye?
the Dome. 63 storeys up.
toilet in the Dome. grapefruits' growing in there. smells heavenly.
ben and me
glamour night.
look at the price. actually about S$150 odd. ben paid it all!
i like the film canisters
our last day out! look at the traffic behind us!!
love this shot.
ben's random shot.
ben's really tall, i feel.
best shot amongst all attempted jumps.
ben took those shots.
ben and vel's only shot. i took this one.
wondered if it was the jumpers' fault or the cameraman's fault.
the brown and the shades.
dunkins' before we left.
Bangkok international airport
Blizzards before our flight.
remembered F4?
squeezed up yet smiling for the cam.
goodbye Bangkok.







Y 1:39 AM
#01
it took shu and us one friday a long time ago,
almost an hour,
i guess,
to realise what we wanted.
er...
i would mean..
to realise how we related to each other wasn't what we perceived it to be.
so i was the kind who wants to tell my whole life out,
and in response would expect the same from anyone,
including her.
she was the kind who wants others to ask her questions about her life,
so that she would share,
including me.
i finally understood her heart,
and she, mine.
praise God.


#02
the next day was saturday.
i was taking the cab home with alex and boy after work.
i was the last to get off.
sweetly,
the uncle started to talk to me when i was the only one left.
reaching my block,
me: uncle, you don't have to turn in, just stop at the bus stop in front.
uncle: okay. er..i have this bad habit. that if a girl is alone, i'll make sure she gets into the lift.
me: (a lil apprenhensive) oh er okay.
so i pointed out to uncle where the lift was.
apparently the lift was blocked by the wall from the view where the cab was,
so uncle couldn't see.
uncle: it's okay. you walk to a spot where it's safe, then wave to me.
me: okay. (so touched =) ).
so happily, i got off the cab,
walked through the shelter and turned back,
waved goodbye at uncle,
then he drove off.

#03
i went to wes's home to bring him blueberry cake.
18 cakes altogether.
for his birthday.
after that, i walked along a pavement back to the station.
clouds were gathering, thunder was rolling.
ominous sky it was.
i was talking to kha on the phone.
in the midst of a hearty conversation,
a crackle of the thunder and
the line got cut off.
i went like,
"hello hello?? kha,can u hear me?? hello?"
so i quickly redialled kha and said,
"the lightning must have cut us off.."
kha replied, "yah..i went like 'hello? hello? did the lightning strike u, joc??'"
-_-" stupid kha.

#04
at nydc wheelock,
it was after work when we sat down for a meal.
fio asked, "izhar, do you know what is 'tau pok?'"
izhar replied, "'pork' i know, 'tau' i don't know."
HAHAHAHA

#05
at nydc heeren,
lucas and i were cleaning up the tables together.
then a customer waved his hand at us,
signalling us over.
i signalled lucas to go on and take their orders.
lucas is a trainee by the way.
lucas: you go, i see.
me: (shaking my head) no no no.. you go, i see.
we agreed and walked over.
customer: hi, can we have a fork please??
HAHAHAHA

#06
at nydc heeren,
this guy has his name official.
Spade.
He was chewing something apparently..
then he told fio and me that he's trying to tie a knot with a cherry stem.
seeing him so concentrated,
i really thought it was for real that he can do it.
then he asked if i wana try.
shyly, i rejected..
but he said, "try try..for fun.."
a coldsider said it's impossible,
no one has done it before.
but still, we both tried.
in the midst of trying very hard,
i prayed.hmm.
wondered why too.
then with some twist and turn of my tongue muscle,
i took the cherry stem out.
there it was - a knot.
showed it to fio, uncle paul,
and Spade.
He was pretty surprised,
"Wha..you really did it ar?"
i smiled.
then a few minutes later, he told me,
"i did it too..wait..you go serve customer first, come back i show u."
i came back and asked him to show me.
he spat out a mash of the cherry stem and
proudly said, "i bet you can't do this huh.."
-_-" funny Spade



16 April 2008 Y 11:39 PM
was having a conversation with fio yest.
we talked about many things.
"absence makes the heart fonder.."
i find it harder to believe this statement already.
i feel somehow, otherwise.
absence makes us grow away from each other.
the initial days may seem that we're missing each other intensely.
however, as days goes by,
the heart just found itself in the new place.
oh well.
so i would say, i hate our absence.
it doesn't make our hearts grow fonder,
it seemed to have created the distance between us.
let me tell u this.
i want to see u.
i want to be next to u.
i miss u,
my best friend.



04 April 2008 Y 3:33 AM
well,
in another 2 hours and 57 minutes,
i'll be leaving on an airplane.
bangkok.

i'm pretty comfortable about this trip.
i wonder why...
i thank God that He has provided this break.
and tog with ng, ben and vel,
the people i've shared half my life with,
this trip would be one of its kind.

sweet of sean, sher, uncle paul and bing to send their regards.

one simple request:
God, i pray that i'll meet you there everyday. Amen.