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2.56am now. i can't sleep again. wondering if it's the coffee. haha. shoots. realised the liquor i'm drinking is coffee liquor. sian-ed. i realised i'm allergic to alcohol. my entire body has red patches all over. it ain't just my face. freaky. oh well. someone's been really nice. even though i've not been nice to someone. well, someone's there most of the time. someone gives in to my whine. someone is a good friend. indeed. someone is sherwin. he's really nice, i would love to boast of that. and he... is simply a good friend. i'm missing bing, fio, jas, kha, ong ji, shin goon, chin gu, phebs, di, jian hao, shei pin. oh well. gona force myself to slip into lalaland. ciao~ Heyo all. i know i've been MIA-ing from my blog. seriously, i do not know from where should i begin again. haha. things have been off to a rough start right after i graduated. rough start meaning, 1)God was practically out of my life for quite a length of time. 2)I was aimless about my life 3)I've been remaining stagnant in my current status quo. 4)Lazy-ness fills me to sum it all. Well, i've decided.. no more wellowing in self pity or expect sympathy. there's a cost in everything we do. so cost of my laziness - emptiness even when i'm in a relationship with God. Headed out with ben, ng, chuah yesterday. with them, i feel most comfortble. it feels like we're family. serious. i'll do things that i'll do in front of my family when i'm with them. that's how comfortable i am with them. Taking turns to share our lives in 'Chap Chan Teng', i particularly took note of what ng shared. a rough message she heard on Good Friday: [The way God loves us is different from the way *'i lubb u, u lubb me' kind between a guy and a girl. You know when you marry, at the church, before the cross, you'll say, *'i lubb u, u lubb me foreva', but after some time in your marriage, you'll say, 'I hate you', and your other half says, 'I hate you too.' Then when you both hate each other, you'll say, (pardon me aye..) 'Go to hell.' Your other half will then say, 'You go first.'] Interesting. *Exaggeration on my part And together with that, a few more stories to hear of the saving grace of Christ, Ian, vel's husband, received Christ. My heart pulsated. (which heart doesn't..haiyo..allow me to sound a lil more..poetic?) I wondered which it was. The joy of knowing he has received Christ, or the joy of witnessing God's grace and mercy once again. hmm. i believe it was both. i kept telling God, "I miss You." yet.. i was pretty much preoccupied with the world at hand to return to Him. serious. God must have waited. He didn't have to wait another 4 years. (next leap year: 2012) I'm coming home. Recognising only His side is where i rest, secure. where my heart finds home. my <3 had fleeted and was kinda stucked in a roundabout, till it found a corner to rest. Honestly, it would never be possible to find a corner in a roundabout. but with God, i found it. senseless it seems, but i'm serious. I've always heard of testimonies that goes, "once i've started with God, i've never LOOKED BACK." hmm.. honestly, i've never really asked myself if i looked back. i will decide. i will tell of my decision once i'm sure of it. i WILL and not i MUST. Yes. and i definitely believe in fully understanding that my security lies in Christ. really. others have ran me down, laughed at me, commented certain things about me.. Yes. I feel terrible about myself sometimes. but here's what i've grown to learn. [We are who we are. God made us unique and special.] what's MORE, [By saying mean things about how each of us look, shows that we're mocking God's creation in each of us.] Unique. Special. No one's like me. I'm like no one else. This truth... it's embedded into my heart. thankful, I am. | MY LIFE  I am Jocelyn Hannah. I was baptised on 7th February 2010. I am 22 and still counting. I love VJBEE and we celebrate 10 years. I am amazed at everything about Korea and Korean. I still love orange, the colour. I love Da Tou, Mini Tou and new addition, Flimso. I am God given. In my life, I choose to desire God above everything else. He is no fool to lose what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot TAG ME MY LOVELYS Aunty Ben Bing Claire Corny di Evan Fio Ian Isabelle Jere Joelle Joey Josel Kha Ning Ong Ji Pauline Phebs Prila Roy Rui Xiang Sandy Shei Pin Sin Yi Tina Zul MY MEmories January 2007 February 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 February 2009 March 2009 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 March's Events 4th April - Ong Ji's Bday 8th April - Bing and Jere's 17th Month 9th April - Mommy's Bday 12th April - Tina's Bday 19th April - School Officially Commences 22nd April - Sabrina's Bday My heart song |