Those were pages of the last chapter.
A new chapter is about to begin,
and this time,
the heavenly pen writes it.
Psalms 139.
[All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.]

Papa,
I want You be the Author of this new chapter.
Allow me to love as You have loved.
I have learnt Your love in the harshest circumstances,
in three folds,
from 10,000 pieces to 10 million,
Never once had You given up on me.
Never once was i made to wallow up in my sorrows,
and cried my eyes to a crimson red.

I've waited.
Waited for you to come over and tell me.
You never came,
guess it was never meant to be anyway.
All i ask is that,
there will no longer be any 10 millions again.

[How precious to me are your thoughts,
O God! How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.]
Nobody, no one,
could ever think of me the way You do.

It's coming to a year.
A full year.
Papa,
is this it?
I pray so.
Really.

Feeling superbly indignant about things.
For the first time,
joc seriously felt that being smart in human sense,
is being the stupidest on earth.

I heard a customer said this today,
"Being overly sensitive is being insensitive too..."
I agree to that.

I'm not okay,
but everything will be okay.
[When you only see a set of footprints on the sand, it's because I'm carrying you.]
my comfort is in You, Lord.

If it takes this much to break me to reveal Your glory,
so be it.
If it takes this much to show me Your love,
so be it.
If it takes this much to make me understand Your plans,
so be it.

To my face,
You restore the smile,
of which many have wiped off.
To my eyes,
You paint the brightest rainbows,
to send a glint.
To my nose,
You bring the freshness of air,
leaving me breathless.
To my heart,
You mend the shatters,
restoring me in love.
To my hands,
You place in it faith,
that i may hold on forever.
To my feet,
You bestow upon it readiness,
"Here I am, send me."
To my ears,
You whisper the words,
"I LOVE YOU."


My heart is Your Home, come and reside, won't You?