To Hate/passerby,
my apologies for my tardy response.
I believe you are one person.
I believe we are acquainted.

Okay.
I don't exactly know what did I do or say to have made you feel the way you feel,
but I believe you are feeling pretty betrayed.
Maybe even after reading this,
you may feel that it's all hypocrisy,
but I know my conscience is clear to God.

I'm sorry if I have caused you to feel so adversely towards God.
If it has been the things i've done,
I hope you do understand,
that I, Jocelyn, ain't a perfect person.
I make mistakes too.
If I am an all perfect and a goody good Christian,
then I don't need God.
It's because I'm not perfect,
that's why all the more I need Him.

I've been going through rough patches in my life,
and the only way I was able to stand strong was to depend on God.
And all that I've shared on my blog are my processes and journeys.
I've been vulnerable to God and to man,
not to gain pity from man,
but to show people that through life's ups and downs,
God has made me stronger.
Stronger as a person and in my faith.
I would hope that you can understand that I am, afterall, human.
I do have my ups and downs.
It doesn't mean that as a Christian,
we will only enjoy the good things in life,
and never the bad.
[God never said life would be easy,
but He said to cast my cares on Him for He cares for me.]

[Hate: Can really think what i'll say when i see you in the street with another TOY]
I would definitely want to hear you tell me what you want to say,
because I want to clear up any misunderstandings.
I hope you will take back your words about 'another TOY'.
If you had meant the guys that I've been meeting up with one-on-one,
then I would like to tell you that they are real good friends to me.
I cherish them as they're God given.
They stand by me,
when I'm down.
They're the ones who plant smiles on my face,
when the going gets tough.
People may misunderstand anything about us,
but God knows my heart.
So please,
do not be harsh with your words in your anger.

I sensed the skeptism in you.
The eyes that refuses to see the good in man and God.
I don't mean to force upon you anything.
I pray that you'll understand,
your skeptical heart has never stopped God from loving you.
My heart has always been clear before God,
and I stand before Him alone.
I do not need to explain to anyone the reasons for my being,
because I'm only answerable to God.
But I do wana clear the air between us,
because I believe you want to know the truth, don't you?
Life has been cruel to you...to me...to anyone on this earth,
but God HAS NOT.
God is NEVER cruel to us.

The last thing that God will do,
maybe not even last,
as this will NEVER be in God's list,
is to harm you in any way.
The pain you feel in your life ain't caused by God,
but by the sins of man.

And it seemed that in some ways,
my behaviour as a Christian has made you feel cheated.
Cheated that afterall, there is no one good on earth,
not even Christians.
Well,
NO ONE is good on earth.
I ain't good.
That is why I need God.

I apologise on the behalf of my friends if certain words have hurt you.
It's me whom you're displeased with,
but please,
do not take it out on them.
If you want to express your anger,
vent it on me alone,
but leave them out of this.

[passerby: all behaving like R.E.T.A.R.D .. typical christain tat's trying to talk sense. -shakehead-]
If we are retards,
and all that we've shared about our faith is crap,
then who are not the retards?
Who is telling the truth?
Whose statement counts as the absolute truth?
Who, then, talks complete sense?

There's only one kind of Christian.
The Christian who will stand by his/her faith in Jesus Christ,
depending on God moment by moment,
never succumbing to the challenges of the world,
yet boldly proclaiming that Jesus Christ is truly the son of God,
the one and only Saviour,
who, by His blood,
has redeemed us of all our sins.
Typical Christian.

Since you've boldly tagged on my blog,
I believe you have things you want to tell me.
I would ask that you approach me.
My promise to you is that whatever is shared between us is kept between us.
God can seal that promise.
You can email me if you're uncomfortable to talk to me face to face.
my email add: myorangevespa@yahoo.com

Once again,
I would like to apologise if I have,
in any way,
displayed anything that has been contrary to what I've shared with you about God.
I hope that my inadequate testimony has not resulted in you losing confidence in God.
If it has,
then grant me the grace to fail.
Do understand that I am human afterall.
I'm fallible.

It's never about how good I can be as a Christian,
it's always about how God chooses to use me even when I'm so inadequate.
I can only give you a glimpse of our eternal God.
To see Him,
you've got to believe.
If you don't believe,
even if He stands before you,
you wouldn't know it's Him.
Same for the good things in life.
If we don't believe that there's still good things in life,
we will never see it even if it is right before our eyes.

If you can ever find anyone who has never ever sinned,
apart from Jesus Christ,
let me know.
Then I can tell you that all these years what I'm believing is crap.
If not,
please understand that your skeptism doesn't deny God's existence.
He exists, that's why we exist.
[God would not have made you if His heart did not love you.]